Hello world. It’s been a while. Life has definitely been a crazy ride lately. It feels good to have some space right now, and reflect on how much has changed since I was last in this spot, writing, searching, dreaming, exploring.
Where do I start? I’m on night number three alone. Michael is currently in Texas on a business trip, and I am alone in this little apartment with my computer, pandora, and a sleeping puppy next to me. I feel like I can breathe. And it feels good. The biggest worry I have right now, is whether or not I’m going to order pizza for dinner or get off my lazy butt & make something myself. Life is tough when your personal chef, I mean fiance ;), is away. But really, the things he comes out of that kitchen with are always so amazing. Speaking of my fiance, I think that’s a perfect place to start this comeback post! :) I mean, I am pretty sure that I could write about that man everyday all day & still not have enough time to finish what I have to say. I know, it’s cheesy, but I don’t care. I think him leaving for this short time period was exactly what I needed to snap me back into reality. Ever since we got back from San Diego, I’ve had crazy wedding fever. Every love song, every flower, every morning, & every night I dream about that day that’s quickly approaching. Yet, we still have NOTHING planned. Not even a date. I am so worried about pleasing everyone else (especially him), that I haven’t even stopped to really think about what I want. But whenever I do think about it, and have my little mini visions of what I think it’ll be like, it’s always just him and I, with everyone else making up a giant blur around us. Because if one good thing has come from him being gone for five days, it’s the realization of how much a part of me, is him. I don’t care how cliche it is to say this, but I don’t search for anything anymore. I don’t need too. I have found everything I need. It’s like my heart was always beating, but it was always vulnerable to life’s challenges. Now it’s not anymore. It’s forever protected. I just can’t wait until the day comes that we get to really celebrate the life we have built together, and the life we’re going to conquer together.
On another note, life really is incredible right now. I’m completely obsessed with the career path I have chosen. Although, I don’t think it is challenging enough for me. I still have SO much to learn as a paralegal, but I do know that it’s not beyond my capabilities in the slightest bit. One of my life goals was to find a career that I loved waking up and going to everyday. Well my friends, mission freaking accomplished. As much as I’d love to claim it as all my own success, I can’t. Every single time I think about how damn lucky I am for everything I have accomplished, I immediately think about everyone who helped me get to this point in my life. My parents, for helping me believe that I really can do anything I want in this world. My best friends, for supporting my decisions, even if they were crazy and risky. My sister, for being the perfect role model, and being one of the most ambitious and hard-working woman I’ve ever known. My brothers, for reminding me to always laugh, because that’s always just as important. My puppy, for being the most excited dog in the entire world, every single time I step inside the house, even on days that were the hardest. And of course, for Michael. For helping me find my confidence, for pushing me off the cliffs that I forever just looked at with wonder, for helping me believe that with a little faith in myself I can fly, for supporting every single decision, and for being my best, most caring friend. How could I not be successful with all that surrounding me? Needless to say, I am so blessed and so rich with a life to never take for granted.
With every day that passes, I learn so much. About myself, life, the future, this world. And I can’t wait to see what this year brings me.